Freedom.. and Forgiveness

Last week I finished Freedom, and its ending has been stewing in my head for the past several days.  The second half of the book seemed to drag a bit... but I think that was the point.  It's a story about a seemingly ordinary family and the ways they hurt each other, and the ways they endure each other.  And even if you can't identify personally with what they do and the things that happen, the occurrences are not out of your realm of understanding or possibility.  

When I started Freedom, I thought it would be a story of self-discovery and finding a new path through life.  Halfway through, I thought it would have a tragic, depressing ending.  And I was wrong on both counts.  It is a story about forgiveness.  And at first I couldn't believe in it.  After all the things that had happened, how could this family still have such a capacity for forgiveness and love?  Is is really possible for two people to look at each other after so many years of hurt and angst, and still find love?  It's a very humbling thing, forgiveness.  I think about too many bad afternoon TV shows with families ripping each other apart on Dr. Phil or Oprah, and how many times I've said "I would NEVER forgive someone if they did that to me."  But is that really true?  Because isn't it true that we hurt the ones we love the most because we CAN?  Not that we set out to be hurtful, but the people that care about us are the ones who can absorb our hurt, our anger, our disappointments in each other...and continue to be there for us.  The opposite of love isn't hate; it is apathy.  So if we hurt over someones actions, the love is still there.  I think it takes a terrible amount of energy to hate; and when you add the physical and emotional history that tie our lives to our family and friends, it would take so much energy and emotion to truly severe that tie.  To me, the message in Freedom was that this family's capacity to forgive and to love was greater than their desire to spend any more energy on hate and bitterness.  It took years, it took time, but the love was always there, waiting to be rekindled, waiting to reconnect. 

So, here's to forgiveness, and choosing love.